Sex can sometimes feel so…. predictable
By Karen Gordon
When it comes to your sex life, too much of the same can often become predictable. And while plenty of things in life are mundane, your sex life shouldn’t be one of them.
“It’s so important to keep your sex life exciting and fresh,” says sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. “Regular, satisfying sex makes you healthier, it reduces stress and anxiety and increases intimacy levels, meaning you and your partner always have a fulfilling and emotionally connected relationship.”
Here are seven ways to make your sex life more interesting…
1. Take up some erotic fiction
There are tons of ways you and your partner can get in the mood for sex, whether that is alone or together. Erotic fiction is by far one of the more superior ways, and reading in a calm relaxed environment allows you to tune out external distractions and concentrate on your body, according to Annabelle.
“The stories are not only for entertainment, they can also give you some great ideas for what you and your other half can get up to. Other mood inducing activities you may want to consider are sensual massage, erotic messaging throughout the day or investing in an adults’ only board game such as Monogamy or Nooki,” she says.
2. Mix up your routine
“Mixing up your routine is a sure-fire way to keep things lively and fresh. You don’t need to be swinging from the chandelier every single session – however, trying something new every now and then has been proven to increase your overall desire and, in turn, boost your libido,” says Annabelle.
For couples looking to spice things up, Annabelle recommends trying a new location and a new position, even something as simple as taking your bedroom antics to the living room has shown to have a positive effect.
“The next step you should take is to write down three scenarios or positions you’d like to try and then compare notes. The idea is you exchange lists and each chooses a new position to try. Most couples find that they’ve written down at least one similar thing.”
3. Experiment with sex toys
Sex toys are an amazing way to add a new dimension – whether you’re masturbating alone or having sex with a partner. Annabelle’s number one toy recommendation for couples is a vibrating cock ring. “These stretchy little rings slide down and sit at the base of the penis; this restricts blood flow meaning that he stays harder for longer. The vibrating ones boast a well-placed mini vibrator that sits nicely against the clitoris meaning that she’ll enjoy incredible external stimulation as well as internal penetration from her partner. Couples who use cock rings regularly report experiencing better sex and better orgasms as a result of it.”
4. Try some confidence-boosting tactics
In an ideal world, we’d all feel confident enough to explore our sexual selves on our own and with a partner. If you’re lacking in confidence for whatever reason, Annabelle suggests a bit of retail therapy. “Bedroom wear has taken on a whole new lease of life and the choice nowadays is staggering. Dress for your body shape and you won’t go far wrong,” she advises. “For a fuller figure a corset will look amazing. If you’re slender, a body stocking or waspie might be more up your street.”
Think about choosing a flattering lighting scenario as well, candle light is by far the best, as well as positions that make you feel more confident. “Lots of women find choosing a position that elongates their body really works wonders for their confidence levels.”
5. Enhance sex with kegels
Kegel exercises are paramount to a good sex life. If you’re unsure how to pinpoint your pelvic floor, kegel or pubococcygeus (PC) muscles (hint: they’re all the same thing) Annabelle says:
“Next time you go for a wee, stop and start your flow over and over again. You’re using your pelvic floor to do this. It’s this action that you’ll need to perform to really give your pelvic floor a good workout. A strong pelvic floor increases your bladder control, which is great if you’re a little older or have had kids. This in turns strengthens or ‘tightens’ your vagina muscles, boosting your sensitivity and arousal, whilst also leading to stronger, longer lasting orgasms – what’s not to love about that?”
6. Use lube
Lubricant is often only seen as fixing a problem rather than enhancing sexual intimacy, but this isn’t actually true.
“Slicker sex is better sex,” says Annabelle. “Lubricant gets a bit of a bad name; many people feel using lube means that they’ve failed in either getting turned on or turning their partner on. Honestly, this just isn’t true. Lubricant makes sex completely frictionless, leaving you able to enjoy every single sensation and more sexually responsive.”
Make sure you’re using the right type of lubricant for the job: water-based lube is safe to use with all sex toys and silicone based lube is great for sex in water, as it doesn’t wash away.
7. Be generous with compliments
Compliment your partner a little more often. Paying a little more attention to them is a great way to retune your relationship and become more involved with one another sexually. Someone who is made to feel desirable is far more likely to respond well to advances, says Annabelle.
Equally, don’t forget to communicate. “Every good relationship is built on a foundation of trust, acceptance and mutual respect. The way you communicate with your partner has a strong influence on these factors so talking to each other and listening to one another are key skills to have.”