Because men’s voices just aren’t heard enough on topics like sexuality, relationships, morality and women’s behaviour, there’s a new show on the Oprah Winfrey Network that is giving two male hosts a much needed platform to opine on these issues. It’s called It’s Not You, It’s Men, and you should watch it if you enjoy sticking a fork in your eye while reliving every time you’ve found yourself womansplaining feminism to a guy who is mostly feigning interest.
That’s exactly the position Amber Rose found herself in when she appeared on the show this weekend; only she wasn’t just having to school the hosts – Tyrese Gibson and Rev Run – she was doing it to defend herself after they accused her of inviting sexual assault with how she presents herself.
“I’m just saying the comfort-ability that some people find in wanting to touch or grope you… it’s just the energy that’s being sent out there is what creates that type of response,” Gibson said after Rose told the pair she feels like she’s being “constantly assaulted” by both men and women who feel entitled to her body.
Gibson compared it to how people might see a basketballer and want to play ball with him, which is a completely ridiculous analogy.
Rose’s response was to school them in Consent 101, making me feel just incredibly tired that women keep having to repeat such a basic message.
“If I’m laying down with a man butt naked and his condom is on, and I say ‘You know what, no, I don’t wanna do this, I changed my mind,’ that means no. That means f–kin’ no. That’s it.
“It doesn’t matter how far I take it or what I have on, when I say no, it means no.”
Rev Run countered her by saying “dress how you want to be addressed,” which might be okay advice if fashion was a universal language.
It isn’t, so the rule is not “dress how you want to be addressed”. It’s this: treat people with respect – regardless of what you think of their clothes.