By Chris Sweeney, author who has written for various UK magazines and newspapers, including The Times, The Sun and The Daily Record. Follow him on Twitter @WritesSweeney
With the world battling the Covid-19 pandemic, the “woke” royal couple are busy plotting the next part of their empire.
Britain’s royal family would be Olympic gold medallists if misjudging a situation was a sport.
Recounting all their howlers is an encyclopaedia of its own.
Recently, we’ve had Prince Philip aged 97 driving across a major road and causing an accident in which the other party suffered broken bones. Big Phil left without offering any apology or concern, before being publicly shamed into sending a letter as an afterthought. 48 hours later he was cruising about again, at the wheel without a seatbelt.
Then we had Prince Andrew saying a teenager accusing him of sexual assault must be wrong as he was unable to sweat, “because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War.” Of course, numerous pictures were unearthed of Air Miles Andy — a name earned for his love of private planes — soaked in perspiration leaving a night-club around that time.
But the star couple of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle take the absolute biscuit.
They are by far and away the most out of touch, and the painful irony is that, in their minds, they believe they’re different and enlightened. The millennials call it being “woke” and there’s nothing more dangerous than someone who thinks they know the right way to live, and dismiss other ways as backward.
That’s clearly why they wanted to step back from being full-time royals, although they did want to keep their titles. That was until The Queen told them to get real, that being part of the royal family wasn’t like joining a gym, you couldn’t pop in when it suited you.
She also stripped them of the right to make money from their blue-blood links, so they had to “park” their planned “Sussex Royal” brand. Who knows what that is anyway, aside from a balding ginger guy and a B-list actress who hardly anyone had heard of pre-2016.
And so they left their royal roles, fleeing first to a Canadian bolthole until, apparently realizing they faced potentially higher tax bills there, they took a private plane to Los Angeles and Hollywood towards the end of last month. Tinseltown, the perfect place for pampered, self-obsessed prince and princess: a town “mostly full of nonsense and delusion and egomania,” as Christopher Hitchens memorably once said.
From there, with the world grappling with a pandemic that has so far killed 80,000 with many more to follow, the duo decided to let us know about the next stage of their plan for world domination.
One word — Archewell.
As we all know from our private schooling, it’s derived from the Greek word for “source of action“.
The couples’ statement read: “We connected to this concept for the charitable organisation we hoped to build one day, and it became the inspiration for our son’s name. Archewell is a name that combines an ancient word for strength and action, and another that evokes the deep resources we each must draw upon.”
They also explained how they had thought of all this pre-SussexRoyal and were only telling the world now, because the media had discovered their trademark applications. Yes, the ones that Harry and Meghan purposely decided to file last month.
And spare us the garbage about being forced to share it with the public. We all know Meghan’s dad has been blackballed, has never seen his grandson Archie or met Harry, but they never comment on that.
We all know Harry dressed up as Nazi for a fancy dress party, but they don’t discuss that.
They didn’t openly reveal who Archie’s godparents were despite the British taxpayer’s giving tens of millions — some estimates put it as high as £32m — to pay for their wedding.
And let’s not have anyone say The Queen paid for what was referred to as the core costs (flowers, decorations, the reception), as where does she get her money from? The people and the land of Britain.
Harry’s old man Prince Charles actually contracted Covid-19, which, thankfully, he has now beaten.
Adding this all up, you really have to ask what planet Harry and Meghan are on.
The world is going to hell in a handbasket, so they could do any number of initiatives to help out — like the outstanding gentlemen and Scottish actor James McAvoy, who donated £275,000 so more medical workers could have access to Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).
Or footballer Danny Rose, who sent hundreds of Domino’s pizzas to North Middlesex University Hospital in London for hungry staff.
It doesn’t have to be cash or goods, anything at all would help in this time of need, with so many either struggling both mentally and physically. Become a volunteer worker in the NHS, for example.
But on the subject of money, the power-crazed duo talked about Archewell being a charitable organization — but neither of them have jobs.
What income do they have to donate?
Money, possibly wired from the Western Union around the corner from Buckingham Palace, is again flowing from the British taxpayers’ pocket to fund their round-the-clock security — their team of up to 9 royal protection officers is estimated to cost £5m a year. And they already owe us £2.4 million for the refurbishment of their Windsor home, Frogmore Cottage.
So are they planning to take more money from ordinary working class people, dish it out to good causes, and then sit and bask in the glory at their new Los Angeles mansion?
Out of touch and tone deaf doesn’t cover it.
Harry and Meghan wanted to be ordinary folk and leave the royal circus behind. Well, in this time of crisis, ordinary folk are struggling to save their jobs, worrying if they can feed their kids, all the while watching friends and family die. They aren’t setting up organizations and filing trademark requests for motion picture films, paperclips, rainwear and calendars.
This situation that we’re now all in, is a case of us and them. By way of their actions, sadly, Harry and Meghan are definitely them. It really is time they woke up.