Getting frisky first thing in the morning can have an impact on your wellbeing.
By Abigail Malbon
Think of the most romantic sex scene you possibly can. Chances are, it’s evening. Now think again of some of the most mind-blowing sex moments you’ve ever experienced, and we’d like to bet that at least a couple were first thing in the morning.
Morning sex might not be exactly what most picture when they think of the perfect sex scene, but there are certainly some benefits to getting it on as the day is dawning – whether it’s a quickie before work or a long lazy weekend in bed.
But, as most of us live busy lives and may have distractions in the form of children or pets, it can be hard to make time for morning sex. Syncing your routines can also be a problem, or just general bad-temperedness. That’s not to say you shouldn’t try, though – it may require a little more effort or forward-planning, but morning sex can have multiple benefits for your relationship and personal wellbeing.
Benefits of morning sex
Emma Spiegler, Sexpert at Harley St Clinic Zoe Clews & Associates, reveals the benefits of having sex as you wake up, and how to make it work for you.
1. It reduces stress
“What better way to start your day with releasing all those stress reducing chemicals of phenylethylamine – also known as ‘the molecule of love’ – which is a natural form of amphetamine produced by your bodies?” says Emma.
The organic compound acts as a nervous system stimulant, and can give you the same feeling you achieve when you have a “runner’s high”.
2. It releases happy hormones
Not only are you likely to feel less stressed, you could also feel generally happier.
“Oxytocin – the ‘cuddle hormone’ – is released during morning sex, which then stimulates the secretion of dopamine, estrogen, LRHR and vasopressin,” says Emma. “How we start our day matters, and with the current global pandemic we could all do with a good dollop of stress relieving cuddle hormones.”
How we start our day matters, and with the current pandemic we could all do with a good dollop of stress relief.
3. Your body is ready
More so than in the evening. A 2013 study found that your libido is affected by your hormone levels, and the higher they are, the more turned on you feel. Luckily for morning sex lovers, estrogen and testosterone levels are at their peak when you first wake up.
4. It’s a workout
A study from the University of Quebec at Montreal followed 21 heterosexual couples in their early 20s, and found that men burned 101 calories (4.2 calories per minute) on average during a 24-minute sex session, while women burned 69 calories (3.1 calories per minute).
It might not be as much as your average morning run, but it’s a significant amount better than having a lie-in.
5. It can strengthen your relationship
“Sex isn’t just about receiving and giving pleasure for so many couples, it’s about feeling connected, expressing love for each other and a way to let go of daily stressors and have fun,” says Emma. “Couples’ sex lives are connected to the general wellbeing of their relationship, and finding creative ways to connect intimately can do wonders for keeping that loving spark alive in relationships.”
How does morning sex differ from sex any other time of day?
But for all the benefits, is it really that different than sex any other time of day? Emma says our mindset can make all the difference in terms of really enjoying the experience. “For some, after a good night’s rest when we wake up our bodies are more relaxed and we are yet to get into ‘doing’ mode.
When we wake up our bodies are more relaxed and we are yet to get into ‘doing’ mode.
“When our bodies are in ‘being’ mode, rather than ‘doing’ mode it means we are feeling more relaxed, more at ease in our bodies, feeling less tension and we are therefore more able to enter into a state of pleasure and sharing sexual intimacy more easily.”
Why some people like morning sex and others don’t
The downside to morning sex is a lot of us aren’t morning people. If your partner, or you, would rather have an extra 20 minutes in bed than get up to get down, it might feel like you never have chance to enjoy morning sex.
“There could be lots of things at play here as to why some people are not in the mood,” says Emma. “For those of us who have a lot of stressors then you might wake up feeling groggy rather than rested, and need more time to wake up properly – the last thing you will be thinking about or be open to is sexual intimacy.
“It’s no secret that stress has a big impact on our sex lives, it can really put the brakes on our sexual desire. So if we have a jam-packed diary or a head full of tasks that need to be completed it could be challenging to get into a relaxed and open space to share sexual intimacy.”
But it’s not just that some people are grumpier in the mornings than others – there could be an anatomical reason why the AM doesn’t do it for them.
“People also vary with their hormones and bodily rhythms and cycles and so some may just not have the energy of arousal in the mornings. Some of us are natural early birds and ready to go as soon as the alarm sounds, and for others it can take a while and a couple of rounds with the snooze button before you wake up fully.”
If that’s the case for you, you could try slowly adjusting your circadian rhythm by going to bed and waking up slightly earlier each day until you get into a new routine.
How to feel more sexually confident in the morning
For some used to hiding behind evening light, or a glass of wine, the startling brightness of morning can feel intimidating. Not only that, but we’re often not at our freshest when we first wake up. So is it possible to feel entirely confident outside of what’s normal for you?
“If you aren’t feeling relaxed, the important thing to remind yourself is that what matters in those moments is being present with your partner and giving yourself permission to enjoy the pleasure you are both sharing,” says Emma.
Sexual intimacy isn’t about Hollywood perfection – in fact, far from it.
“We are allowed to be human, sexual intimacy isn’t about Hollywood perfection – in fact, far from it. Watch your self-talk; our systems do not know the difference between someone else criticising us and ourselves – it still kicks off the chain reaction of stress chemicals being released into our bodies.
“Switch your focus to the good stuff: the pleasure in your body and the connection with your partner.”
Having sex first thing in the morning might feel like a major adjustment at first, but you never know – it could be key to starting your day right.