by Elise Taylor– Vogue
For each one of us, there comes a moment when we realize “life’s not fair.” It may be after a personal tragedy. Or when other people just have all the luck. Or when two of the most beautiful and brilliant people in the entire world decide, despite their impeccable genetic makeup and perfect hair, that they aren’t going to have any more children.
Yes, society’s worst fear (barring our impending nuclear obliteration!) has been confirmed: Amal and George Clooney don’t want any more kids after their twins, Ella and Alexander. When asked by The Hollywood Reporter, Amal said, “I’m 39 . . . I already had them quite late.”
Yes, yes, to each their own. But this is George and Amal we are talking about here, the multi-hyphenate power couple to end all power couples. He’s an Oscar winning–political activist who was one of Time’s Most Influential People. She’s an Oxford-educated lawyer–fashion icon–humanitarian who is literally suing ISIS. Their kids are going to be some devilishly handsome cross between James Bond, Beyoncé, Gandhi, and like . . . Batman. Guess what the world needs right now, considering our fate lies in the hands of a one Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un (by the way, how the f— did that happen?)? A bunch of James Bond–Beyoncé-Gandhi-Batman hybrids!
But no. George and Amal just had to stop. It doesn’t matter that family size is an extremely personal decision that is no one else’s but their own. Now the world is only going to have two mini Clooneys, and we’re doomed! Pack up your desk, quit your jobs, take the last bus to the Yukon and start building your survival shelter folks, because this is the end!
God, how could they be so selfish?