This is not a sponsored post. It is the story of a moment – a moment of transformation; of pure What-the-hellness? that actually happened. It happened last week, as a matter of fact. Let me start at the beginning. One of the obvious perks of beauty writing includes the number of products you get sent to try. At this time of year, you also get presents.
I know. And I hereby acknowledge my privilege.
This particular product arrived as a gift, nothing more. It was a moisturiser. A plain-old, pseudo-fancy face-wetter. I put it high up in my kitchen pantry because I was in a hurry. All right, I’m lazy. I intended to forget about it. But then last week I came back from a run, OK, a walk, OK, a stroll back from the shopping centre, and my face was feeling parched. I reached into the back of the pantry for something to moisturise my face and I found the gift. Known officially as the Algae Vitalizer Ampoule, it comes in a teeny container, or ampoule, if you will, full of what looks to be green serum.
I cracked open the glass ampoule, as one does, and popped the mixture on my face not knowing what its purpose was. Cleanser? Toner? Hand santiser? But I soon found out, because five minutes later I looked in the mirror and I swear to you, I had no wrinkles.
It was at this moment I whispered to myself, “What the hell just happened?”
See, I normally have bags under my eyes and laugh lines. I have plenty more than this, but these are the stand-outs. Well, they had disappeared. It was as if I had travelled back in time 15 years.
I normally eschew such beauty products with their sciency-sounding “active ingredients” and bizarro claims. Just what does “reduce the appearance of ageing” mean anyway? Or the “visible signs of ageing”? Is your product going to make my skin better or not?
So, you extracted the essence of a Himalayan flower? Wonderful! But my face can’t tell the difference between the Andes and the alps, let alone Mount Everest.
So, you cold-pressed an active green tea extract? Sounds great, but my face is still red.
I could go on.
But this was different. This product, Algae vitalizer, is nicknamed the “instant beautifier” because it has extracts of phytoplankton (a sciency term for microscopic marine algae) that are intensely moisturising. But can moisture alone explain my face? I don’t think it can. I mean, what can explain my face, really? I digress.
Perhaps it was the trace elements and amino acids that did the trick. These, according to the press release, activate skin functions. Which basically means they immediately hydrate.
Whatever it was, it worked. If you want them, they’re $73 for 14mls (7 x 2ml) and they can be purchased here. But make sure your face is really dry and old before you put it on or you won’t get dramatic results. Maybe do a patch-test first, you know, see how you go.