Consider this your cheat sheet.
While the future is non-binary, you may be confused as to what words such as cishet, genderqueer, and gender-fluid actually mean. And what’s the difference between sex and gender, as well as sexual orientation and gender identity? For starters, keep in mind that such terms are often fluid in of themselves, and may change depending on who is using them.
“Ask the other person who may identify with any of these things, ‘What does it mean to you?’” says Dr. Kelly Wise, an out transgender person and sex therapist. “One person will describe genderqueer as another person describes genderfluid. The main important thing to do is ask a person,” he says. With that in mind, it’s important to have a basic understanding of basic gender terminology, even if it varies. “It’s complicated to think about what gender is. We’re working on undoing what patriarchy and sex teaches us what men and women are,” says genderfluid sex therapist Dr. Liz Powell. Join the gender revolution and help dismantle the patriarchy, but first, learn the language by starting with these 13 common terms.
- Sex
Relating to gender, “sex” often refers to what doctors (and society) assign a person at birth based on their genitals. Dr. Powell notes that defining sex versus gender is a complicated area, as many folks wonder how helpful it is to think about sex as a separate thing from gender. “But in context, if we’re talking about someone’s sex, we’re talking about what they were assigned at birth, based on external genitalia,” she says.
- Gender
While sex is often based on biology and what doctors assign at birth, gender is a social construct. “Gender is someone’s own internal understanding about whether they are a man or a woman, something in between, [or] none of those things,” Dr. Powell says.
- Cis
Cis, which is short for cisgender, refers to people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. So if you were born with a penis and you feel and consider yourself to be male, you’d be a cisgender male.
- Cishet
Cishet is short for cisgender heterosexual, or someone who is both cis and straight.
- Trans
Trans is an abbreviation of transgender. “Trans is not aligned with what was determined [at birth], where cis is aligned with what was determined,” Dr. Wise says. You can read more here.
- Genderqueer
Genderqueer refers to someone who enjoys playing with that political and activist sense of the experience of expressed gender, Dr. Powell explains. A genderqueer person may identify as neither gender, both, or a combination. They do not subscribe to the traditional gender binary. “I identify as genderqueer, because a lot of times I feel like a woman, and a lot of times I feel like a dude who feels like wearing women’s clothes. Sometimes I feel like a dude who doesn’t wear women’s clothes. I think that it’s a complicated thing,” Dr. Powell says.
- Genderfluid
Someone who is genderfluid feels that their gender is fluid and can change and vary over time. “People who are genderfluid find themselves moving in between different gender presentations and identifications,” Dr. Powell says. “They may identify as a man or masculine one day, and as femme, woman, or feminine another day, and move in between these expressions of their gender.” They may use gender-neutral pronouns such as “they/them,” as can non-binary or genderqueer people.
- Non-binary
Non-binary is an umbrella term for people whose gender is not just male or female, Dr. Powell explains. And (staying on the theme) this word may have different meanings to different people. “Non-binary is anyone… outside of gender, or someone who is transgender, or people who don’t fall strictly within the binary at all,” Dr. Powell says. Someone can be trans, genderfluid, genderqueer, and non-binary all at the same time.
- Intersex
People who are intersex are born with ambiguous genitalia. For instance, someone might be born with genitals that appear female on the outside, but have male-typical anatomy internally, explains the Intersex Society of North America. Doctors in birthing rooms often have different opinions on how genitals should look to be categorized as male, female, or intersex (a power which is a little creepy, IMO), which is why it’s important to let individuals identify with whatever gender feels right for them.
- Orientation
Sexual orientation is separate than gender identity. This is important and often misunderstood. While someone who is non-binary or trans may identify as gay or bisexual, various gender identities can also have a heterosexual sexual orientation.
- Pansexual
A pansexual person is someone who is attracted to people regardless of the person’s gender.
- Bisexual
Bisexual people are attracted to people of all genders. A common misconception is that bisexuality reinforces the gender binary, or that bisexual people only date cis folks. In reality, bisexual people date and are attracted to both their own gender and genders other than their own (not just “men” and “women”).
- Sapiosexual
Sapiosexuals typically don’t deal with the same prejudices as people that aren’t cishet go through, but we included this because it’s a word being used a lot lately, and you might be curious as to what it means. A sapiosexual is someone who is turned on and attracted to intelligence, or someone’s mind before their appearance.