Week (May 20-26)
“Been telling people ‘sorry he’s really drunk’ when my kid acts like an a**hole in public and everyone hates it”
By
May 26, 2023, 12:01 PM EDT
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
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I can’t convince the kids to come for dinner yet my husband convinced them he can do backflips, but only in his backflip pants, which he has misplaced.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) May 22, 2023
My name is Ana and my 5YO trolls me by writing me seemingly sweet notes addressed to “Anna.”
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) May 24, 2023
me to my kids: you guys watch the dumbest stuff on youtube
also me: [watches a 10 min tiktok of a guy power washing a sidewalk] satisfying.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 22, 2023
I took off work so I wasn’t at school with my daughter and she sent me a message saying “you’re like a puzzle piece and when you’re not around me my puzzle can’t be done” so she’s mastered the art of guilt tripping
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 22, 2023
Toddlers are cute until they come out with sentences like, “He’s our dog, we’re not gonna cook him”, and then they’re terrifying
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 25, 2023
Sometimes I think about the time I asked my four year old where’s daddy and he said he’s taking out the fucking trash.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) May 24, 2023
Do you ever wonder if your parents spoil your kids to get back at you for what you put them through as a teenager? Because I’m totally thinking of doing that.
— Jacana Mommy (@jacanamommy) May 26, 2023
daddy I got 2 dollars for my tooth but my friend Olivia only got 1 is the tooth fairy like Santa
– 6yo not realizing how close she is to uncovering the secret
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) May 24, 2023
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